3 Biggest Software Lies

I ran across the following quote today and thought it was pretty funny=85

3 Biggest Software Lies:

1. The program=92s fully tested and bug-free

2. We=92re working on the documentation

3. Of course we can modify it!

Do you have any other items to add to the above list?

--=20

Stephen Russell

Sr. Production Systems Programmer

Web and Windows Development

Independent Contractor

Memphis TN

901.246-0159

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Item "0" (tops the list), "All you have to do is..."

Item 4, "This won't take but about 2 weeks."

Item 5, "It will be done by (name month 4 weeks out, neglect to say you

meant "next year" in said month)..."

Gil

> -----Original Message-----

> From: profoxtech-bounces@leafe.com

> [mailto:profoxtech-bounces@leafe.com]On Behalf Of mike@mikewohlrab.com

> Sent: Thursday, April 02, 2009 11:53 AM

> To: profoxtech@leafe.com

> Subject: Re: [NF] 3 biggest lies we tell as developers

>

>

> At my work we have self checkout and every now and then it will

> either count to ten in spanish or say "uh-oh." When i asked my

> boss about this she said that it's not a bug, its a feature! Let

> me say I was laughing my ass off for the rest of the day!

>

> Mike

> Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

>

> -----Original Message-----

> From: Stephen Russell <srussell705@gmail.com>

>

> Date: Thu, 2 Apr 2009 10:41:23

> To: <profoxtech@leafe.com>

> Subject: [NF] 3 biggest lies we tell as developers

>

>

> 3 Biggest Software Lies

>

> I ran across the following quote today and thought it was pretty funny 

>

> 3 Biggest Software Lies:

>

> 1. The program’s fully tested and bug-free

> 2. We’re working on the documentation

> 3. Of course we can modify it!

>

> Do you have any other items to add to the above list?

>

>

>

> --

> Stephen Russell

> Sr. Production Systems Programmer

> Web and Windows Development

> Independent Contractor

> Memphis TN

>

> 901.246-0159

>

[excessive quoting removed by server]

The user interface was designed with the user, they wanted all the menus

arranged alphabetically

Nah, it's just coincidence that your password is moron-dickhead

Sure it's only a small change

-----Original Message-----

From: profox-bounces@leafe.com [mailto:profox-bounces@leafe.com] On

Behalf Of Stephen Russell

Sent: 02 April 2009 16:41

To: ProFox Email List

Subject: [NF] 3 biggest lies we tell as developers

3 Biggest Software Lies

I ran across the following quote today and thought it was pretty

funny...

3 Biggest Software Lies:

1. The program's fully tested and bug-free

2. We're working on the documentation

3. Of course we can modify it!

Do you have any other items to add to the above list?

--=20

Stephen Russell

Sr. Production Systems Programmer

Web and Windows Development

Independent Contractor

Memphis TN

901.246-0159

[excessive quoting removed by server]

On Thu, Apr 2, 2009 at 8:41 AM, Stephen Russell <srussell705@gmail.com>wrot=

e:

> 3 Biggest Software Lies

>

> I ran across the following quote today and thought it was pretty funny=85

>

> 3 Biggest Software Lies:

>

> 1. The program=92s fully tested and bug-free

> 2. We=92re working on the documentation

> 3. Of course we can modify it!

>

> Do you have any other items to add to the above list?

4) .NET is revolutionary?

Bill

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You provided 1, 2, & 3 already. I did not ant to trounce your list!

Gil

> -----Original Message-----

> From: profoxtech-bounces@leafe.com

> [mailto:profoxtech-bounces@leafe.com]On Behalf Of mike@mikewohlrab.com

> Sent: Thursday, April 02, 2009 12:44 PM

> To: profoxtech@leafe.com

> Subject: Re: [NF] 3 biggest lies we tell as developers

>

>

> Wheres items 1, 2, 3 on your list?

> Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

>

> -----Original Message-----

> From: "Gil Hale RR" <mrgmhale@rochester.rr.com>

>

> Date: Thu, 2 Apr 2009 12:01:41

> To: <profoxtech@leafe.com>

> Subject: RE: [NF] 3 biggest lies we tell as developers

>

>

> Item "0" (tops the list), "All you have to do is..."

> Item 4, "This won't take but about 2 weeks."

> Item 5, "It will be done by (name month 4 weeks out, neglect to say you

> meant "next year" in said month)..."

>

> Gil

>

> > -----Original Message-----

> > From: profoxtech-bounces@leafe.com

> > [mailto:profoxtech-bounces@leafe.com]On Behalf Of mike@mikewohlrab.com

> > Sent: Thursday, April 02, 2009 11:53 AM

> > To: profoxtech@leafe.com

> > Subject: Re: [NF] 3 biggest lies we tell as developers

> >

> >

> > At my work we have self checkout and every now and then it will

> > either count to ten in spanish or say "uh-oh." When i asked my

> > boss about this she said that it's not a bug, its a feature! Let

> > me say I was laughing my ass off for the rest of the day!

> >

> > Mike

> > Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

> >

> > -----Original Message-----

> > From: Stephen Russell <srussell705@gmail.com>

> >

> > Date: Thu, 2 Apr 2009 10:41:23

> > To: <profoxtech@leafe.com>

> > Subject: [NF] 3 biggest lies we tell as developers

> >

> >

> > 3 Biggest Software Lies

> >

> > I ran across the following quote today and thought it was pretty funny 

> >

> > 3 Biggest Software Lies:

> >

> > 1. The program’s fully tested and bug-free

> > 2. We’re working on the documentation

> > 3. Of course we can modify it!

> >

> > Do you have any other items to add to the above list?

> >

> >

> >

> > --

> > Stephen Russell

> > Sr. Production Systems Programmer

> > Web and Windows Development

> > Independent Contractor

> > Memphis TN

> >

> > 901.246-0159

> >

[excessive quoting removed by server]

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Cg==

mike@mikewohlrab.com wrote:

> Wheres items 1, 2, 3 on your list?

> Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

>

> -----Original Message-----

> From: "Gil Hale RR" <mrgmhale@rochester.rr.com>

>

> Date: Thu, 2 Apr 2009 12:01:41

> To: <profoxtech@leafe.com>

> Subject: RE: [NF] 3 biggest lies we tell as developers

>

>

> Item "0" (tops the list), "All you have to do is..."

> Item 4, "This won't take but about 2 weeks."

> Item 5, "It will be done by (name month 4 weeks out, neglect to say you

> meant "next year" in said month)..."

>

> Gil

He's assuming the same 1,2,3 as the op.

I have my machines running so safely they won't run at all!

heh-heh

> -----Original Message-----

> From: profoxtech-bounces@leafe.com

> [mailto:profoxtech-bounces@leafe.com]On Behalf Of mike@mikewohlrab.com

> Sent: Thursday, April 02, 2009 12:59 PM

> To: profoxtech@leafe.com

> Subject: Re: [NF] 3 biggest lies we tell as developers

>

>

> The customer asks you about the random program crashes so you

> tell them it is a bonus feature you built into the software!

>

> Mike

>

>

> Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

>

> -----Original Message-----

> From: Bill Anderson <billand88@gmail.com>

>

> Date: Thu, 2 Apr 2009 09:28:37

> To: <profoxtech@leafe.com>

> Subject: Re: [NF] 3 biggest lies we tell as developers

>

>

> On Thu, Apr 2, 2009 at 8:41 AM, Stephen Russell

> <srussell705@gmail.com>wrote:

>

> > 3 Biggest Software Lies

> >

> > I ran across the following quote today and thought it was pretty funny 

> >

> > 3 Biggest Software Lies:

> >

> > 1. The program’s fully tested and bug-free

> > 2. We’re working on the documentation

> > 3. Of course we can modify it!

> >

> > Do you have any other items to add to the above list?

>

>

> 4) .NET is revolutionary?

>

> Bill

>

>

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