The Top 10 Indicators that your employer has changed to a cheaper HMO:
10. Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
9. Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you
enter the trailer park."
8. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
7. The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
6. The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is "an apple
a day."
5. Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to
Goodwill last month.
4. The guideline that reads "The patient is responsible for 200% of
out-of-network-charges" is not a typo.
3. The only expense that is covered 100% is embalming.
2. With your last HMO, your Prozac didn't come in different colors
with little M's on them.
And the number One sign that you've joined a cheap HMO:
1. You ask for Viagra, and you get a Popsicle stick and duct tape
Stephen Russell
S.R. & Associates
Memphis TN 38115
901.246-0159
The 4 billion dollars that Microsoft spent seems to have run out just
about the time they got to the datagrid. . . .
©2003 Stephen Russell |
